TENDING, BEFRIENDING, SHARING AND CARING FOR OURSELVES AND EACH OTHER
WHY DON’T WE SHARE, CARE, TEND AND BE-FRIEND OUR FEELINGS WHEN EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS TAKE OVER AND HIJACK OUR NERVOUS SYSTEM?
Being born or becoming an energy sensitive, intuitive and clairsentient empath is a gift not a curse but unless we become more mindfully aware of our boundaries and the boundaries of others, we can wind up absorbing and carrying our friends, partners, colleagues and loved ones energy which isn’t ours and that can lead to more stress, pain and trauma that doesn’t belong to us.
if you didn’t have a caregiver who tended to your needs when you were little, “your nervous system may have developed a pattern of thinking like this ‘Okay, I have to fight, freeze or un because I’m on my own with nobody there to protect me.
I know this firsthand because I experienced dysfunction in my household as a child and wound up becoming an empath, people pleaser and caregiver too and healing recovery is always possible no matter what.
If you were raised by avoidant, dismissive, neglectful or emotionally unavailable parents, you may be attuned to an avoidant attachment style which created a pattern of toxic adult relationships because those survival responses helped you once upon a time but no longer serve or support you.
Instead of gravitating toward others in moments of stress, you may naturally push them away, succumbing to automatic fight-or-flight mode. On a deeper level, regularly being denied the support you needed could mislead you to believe you’re not enough or that no one really cares about you or what you’re going through which most of the time is simply not true.
Remember, just because you managed to live through a difficult past, it’s not your fault and these generational traumas were simply passed onto you but with daily self-reflection and introspection, you can heal how you feel about yourself and others just by practicing mindfulness techniques and being more present so you can enjoy the gift of each and every moment.
Learning to embrace the tend-and-befriend response especially for empaths and caregivers can help you move through stressful thoughts and feelings alot more smoothly.
A great cure for stress is caring for yourself, loved ones or clients which naturally activates your brains neurochemical response stimulating and releasing more oxytocin so you can bond, rest, digest and relax a lot more often. Caring for others naturally helps you feel better and calmer.
Helping others can get you out of your own head and put you in a position of control so here are a few great mindfulness practices to regulate your nervous system:
- Deep diaphragmatic breathing
- Giving yourself a Reiki session
- Tapping on specific meridians
- Identify five things you can see if out of alignment
- Four things you can touch
- Three things you can hear
- Two things you can smell
- One thing you can taste
- Connecting with others in community
- Play your favorite relaxation track
- Earthing, grounding and walking barefoot in nature
- Share stressful feelings with a trusted friend, healer or therapist
These mindfulness tools and quick tips on how to calm yourself down when you find yourself emotionally triggered and overactive can decrease the frequency of fight/flight/freeze alarm system emotional hijacks and help you reduce stress and feel safe when there is no real threat or immediate danger.
I’m here to serve all empaths and caregivers so please reach out if you’re experiencing stressful thoughts or behaviors that make your life unmanageable.
To join my Online Sovereign Goddess Sanctuary, click here to care for yourself better and share your feelings in a loving, safe and non-judgmental support circle.
Get on the wait list here:
https://vandanalighthealing.com/pages/join-the-sovereign-goddess-sanctuary-waitlist
I look forward to holding a safe space for you!
Blessings,
Vandana